Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
