Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
