O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
