Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
