i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
