I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Boobs are out for the taking
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize