THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
