3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
