Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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