he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
