11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
