i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize