Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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