(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
