I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
