Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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