They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
