theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
