You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
