Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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