Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
