He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
