dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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