Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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