Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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