:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
