Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
