please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Boobs are out for the taking
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
