you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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