Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
