Buhtt sex?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
honey bunches of taint.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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