when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
