i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Randomize
