my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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