im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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