I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
