hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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