at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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