My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
