i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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