No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
