So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
