So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
