rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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