i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
