Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
