Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
