I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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