i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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