I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Two words: nipple clamps
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