scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize