He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
It's blow job season.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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