Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
