It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
