Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
