that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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