I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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