I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
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