i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize