3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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