So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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