I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize