What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
