Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
do nipples grow back?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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