Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
