Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
