Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
