What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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