Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
