He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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