lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
